Somebody always knows a lot about somebody else on this tiny island of St. Kitts, and the "knowers" are quite prepared to share what they "know" with anyone having enough time on hand, and can't wait to entertain themselves by anxiously and eagerly anticipating a story about somebody else. Anytime you fall in love on St. Kitts, you can bet your life that somebody is going to crawl out of the woods with a story about your lover.
It is inevitable.
It is bound to happen, and if you are an airhead; if you are one of those persons who cannot think for him or herself, you will give your lover a difficult time, because these people talk as though they absolutely know what they are saying, and that you ought to be concerned, and you ought to begin looking at your lover with a new degree of suspicion; and, depending on what the gossiper says, you are expected to do something about it.
My approach is- I don't give a darned.
I do not care who my woman was, or was-with before being with me; the past is the past.
Do not tell me who you see her talking to, and whether or not she was smiling during the course of the conversation, because I am not going to hide behind any bushes to watch for her appearance, and I am not going to drive-by like I am a Ross University Security Officer or some kind of C.I.A. agent. I am not going to spy on my woman. I don't have the time, and I don't have the propensity to lower myself to that degree of slither.
The reason is this: I believe if my woman is a fraud, I will discover it all by myself, because a fraud is going to attempt to defraud me, a liar is going to lie to me, and a scumbag is going to throw-up on or near me at some time. I do not need anyone telling me anything that I am able to decipher for myself. Sorry. I am going to trust my woman, and if she is not worthy of my trust and I discover it to be so, then I will decide whether or not I am going to move on; no beatings, no strangulation, no eternally-growing bitterness in my craw, simply because I too must be somewhat to blame for permitting myself to get so close to a fraud and a scumbag in the first place. So I am prepared to lick my wound, swallow my pride and hope for better luck next time.
If my relationship breaks up, it won't be caused by what any gossip would have brought me. It would be out of something that I would have discovered all on my own, and even then, there will be an open, accessible door of reconciliation, because nobody who cares about somebody is readily going to walk away without some form of plea for forgiveness and a second chance. I alone must decide based on my own judgment of the circumstances with which I am personally familiar.
People break up relationships only when one of the parties in that relationship believes that the gossip has all of his or her facts properly lined up. Maybe they do, and maybe they don't, but I am the one who is at liberty to decide whether or not the facts, presented to me, matter at all or matter sufficiently for me to either walk away or try to work things through.
There are people who think that because someone is cheating they should walk away. There are others who think they should not, and there is nothing wrong if the person decides to stay and work with the good and the not-so-good aspects of the relationship. There are those who think their relationship should end because she or he is too friendly with an ex, others believe its absolutely nothing.
Relationships are bundles of internal and external physical, emotional and psychological struggles, habits, conditioning,history, bonds, reflections, memories, fears, doubts, secrets, certainties and uncertainties; it's a whole tangle of things and matters to muddle through. When a man and a woman come together, they are two totally different personalities trying to muddle through stuff- lots of stuff-. If I am a big talker, and I fall in love with someone who is not, I must not think that she is certainly changing or falling out of love with me, or that she never really loved me in the first place, because I told her I loved her ten times in the course of a single day, but she only told me she loved me once throughout the course of that same day, so something must be wrong. I cannot allow myself to feel that she must not any longer be as interested in me as she was before, because I texted her a twenty-five word message, but she responded by texting only two words and they were not terms of endearment.
There are people who make major issues out of these simple matters, and there are many people out there who manage their relationships along ways you would not be caught dead doing. Some of these people are friends, acquaintances and family who think that because they won't permit their women or men to do certain things, or behave in certain ways, or associate with certain individuals, that you must not permit it either, and so this is when they come to you with dem say and hear say. You will be a fool if you let them make you lose the joy of your relationship because of their propensity to measure your way of managing yourself in your relationship, by the way they manage themselves in theirs.
Do not take on the Dem say and hear say, because you are not dem and dem most certainly ain't you.
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