Pretending

Pretend that we are successful
We have been to university
 And we work for money
We work for more money than most
-some of us-
We negotiate with the man behind the polished desk
 To buy the car
And then the house
And then the insurance to pay for the house
Just incase
The hurricanes damage it
 And our university qualification salary
 Proves insufficient to restore it.
Insurance that barely covers the cover.

We negotiate our way through
 And we get through
Because we work for more cash
 Than the average man
Than the average woman
Or because the woman
Working magic with the figures
 To get the more than most  people's salary to barely clip the right percentage required
 To grant us the loan
 Because she is a friend
So we get through
 Yet
 Somehow
 We sense----- it's not enough
But we think
We must pretend
That we don't know
 It is not enough
And try to live as though it is enough
We must pretend that we are
 Comfortable
The occasional doubling
Or salary increasing
 Is like an injection of adrenalin
 That soon evaporates
 The rush soon dissipates
 And we are back to square one again
 After moments of pretending
 Even moments of believing
That we can put an end
 To this pretense.

We know
Or we had better know
 That money
 Could never provide us with enough security
 -Never on this planet-
 Everything here is bigger than our largest stash of cash
 No flaunting of pretending impresses some of us.
We must not try to fool ourselves
 Into some form
Of vaporized believing
 That we can work ourselves hard enough
To draw ourselves under some efficiency of cover.

So
 Should we cease our working?
No
But we should stop pretending
 That that we are better than  the other
Who could not negotiate the car
The insurance for the house to get the house
The dollars for our daughter's university
 So she could have enough to start pretending too
that this blanket of acquired cash
is not exposing our toes.